SEL for Crisis Prevention
By Cheri Lovre | November 2024
Nothing strikes terror in educators’ hearts like the possibility of a school shooting. On so many levels this is everyone’s worst nightmare. One of the most difficult aspects of this is that we can’t know how many school shootings have been prevented by the many ways school counselors and teachers create meaningful relationships with and among students. It’s like suicide prevention – we don’t know how many students came close to staging a catastrophic event, nor who had that one critical exchange with someone able to connect with them at a deeper level. Let's start by recognizing that you’re already saving more lives than you know.
Connection. That’s at the heart of this struggle and of stopping trouble before it happens. Nobody wants harm to someone with whom they’re connected in a relationship that has caring, meaning and empathy. Connection is the starting place and should remain a core goal in choosing an SEL program and working with students in small groups.
The next critical dynamic is the difference between teaching and discovering/realizing – the difference between hearing what one should do vs. discovering and experiencing for oneself. Many SEL programs focus on teaching reasons for acceptance (“How does it feel for you when someone is unkind?”) instead of providing the experience of giving and receiving empathy (“Listen to your partner’s description and share back with them what you understand about how that would feel.” And next, “What do you have in common?”). It’s why giving police diversity training doesn’t solve police aggression. You can’t teach someone to care; providing experiences that help them relate to the humanness in someone they think of as vastly different is key. We may change behaviors through discipline, but we only change attitudes and beliefs through shared experience. If a student’s behaviors are modified by the threat of discipline, their response is to do things when they won’t get caught. The goal is to change hearts, not just behaviors.
So, when you look at SEL programs, the more experiential and shared experience and interaction the activities provide, and the more often students have these experiences, the better. Small, frequent, meaningful exchanges bring about far more change than longer weekly activities. Consider this: Having one 20-minute activity once a week gives a child only one opportunity to be heard and connected that week. Fostering the habit of students greeting one another by name as they enter the classroom provides repeated brief moments of recognition daily for that student who feels isolated. Integrating many moments in a day for authentic connection may provide better results than an SEL program that has lots of videos and handouts, but few interactive activities.
For higher risk students, small group work can stretch your reach and up your game. Having 10 weeks is much more effective than just six, and much of this could be amended to work with whole class instruction.
Start each session with more than just a check-in. Consider something students do in pairs so each one listens to and shares something positive with the other. An elementary level example of this might be, “Today, each person gets two minutes to share a story of seeing an act of kindness in our school. What was a kind thing that someone did?” And after both paired students have shared their example, an ending exchange can be, “When you think of what your partner shared, what do you see that you have in common with each other? What did your stories have in common?” Make sure to change partners weekly so they experience empathy from everyone in the group, not just those they know best.
No matter what the focus of the group session is – anxiety, low self-esteem, depression, etc. – taking just a few minutes for students to draw a picture based on a prompt will give you great insights. For instance, if the group is for kids with anxiety, a first go might be: “What are some common causes of anxiety for kids your age?” You can use those pictures for discussion or have them do a second quick sketch on “How might someone your age manage this?” Let them know that this doesn’t mean only handling it on their own; one step might be asking an adult for ideas. Help them discover untapped resources they have. From there you could make a list of all the different causes students named and then, beside it, a list of all the ideas for coping. Students could mark an idea they think might work for them.
End each session with a moment for students to reflect on one thing they learned from the group and one thing to try between now and the next session. Although sometimes middle and high school students don’t want to draw pictures, images can provide great insights and it’s sometimes easier to share thoughts about something they drew rather than talking about how they feel.
Suggestions for organizing groups:
Connection. That’s at the heart of this struggle and of stopping trouble before it happens. Nobody wants harm to someone with whom they’re connected in a relationship that has caring, meaning and empathy. Connection is the starting place and should remain a core goal in choosing an SEL program and working with students in small groups.
The next critical dynamic is the difference between teaching and discovering/realizing – the difference between hearing what one should do vs. discovering and experiencing for oneself. Many SEL programs focus on teaching reasons for acceptance (“How does it feel for you when someone is unkind?”) instead of providing the experience of giving and receiving empathy (“Listen to your partner’s description and share back with them what you understand about how that would feel.” And next, “What do you have in common?”). It’s why giving police diversity training doesn’t solve police aggression. You can’t teach someone to care; providing experiences that help them relate to the humanness in someone they think of as vastly different is key. We may change behaviors through discipline, but we only change attitudes and beliefs through shared experience. If a student’s behaviors are modified by the threat of discipline, their response is to do things when they won’t get caught. The goal is to change hearts, not just behaviors.
So, when you look at SEL programs, the more experiential and shared experience and interaction the activities provide, and the more often students have these experiences, the better. Small, frequent, meaningful exchanges bring about far more change than longer weekly activities. Consider this: Having one 20-minute activity once a week gives a child only one opportunity to be heard and connected that week. Fostering the habit of students greeting one another by name as they enter the classroom provides repeated brief moments of recognition daily for that student who feels isolated. Integrating many moments in a day for authentic connection may provide better results than an SEL program that has lots of videos and handouts, but few interactive activities.
For higher risk students, small group work can stretch your reach and up your game. Having 10 weeks is much more effective than just six, and much of this could be amended to work with whole class instruction.
Start each session with more than just a check-in. Consider something students do in pairs so each one listens to and shares something positive with the other. An elementary level example of this might be, “Today, each person gets two minutes to share a story of seeing an act of kindness in our school. What was a kind thing that someone did?” And after both paired students have shared their example, an ending exchange can be, “When you think of what your partner shared, what do you see that you have in common with each other? What did your stories have in common?” Make sure to change partners weekly so they experience empathy from everyone in the group, not just those they know best.
No matter what the focus of the group session is – anxiety, low self-esteem, depression, etc. – taking just a few minutes for students to draw a picture based on a prompt will give you great insights. For instance, if the group is for kids with anxiety, a first go might be: “What are some common causes of anxiety for kids your age?” You can use those pictures for discussion or have them do a second quick sketch on “How might someone your age manage this?” Let them know that this doesn’t mean only handling it on their own; one step might be asking an adult for ideas. Help them discover untapped resources they have. From there you could make a list of all the different causes students named and then, beside it, a list of all the ideas for coping. Students could mark an idea they think might work for them.
End each session with a moment for students to reflect on one thing they learned from the group and one thing to try between now and the next session. Although sometimes middle and high school students don’t want to draw pictures, images can provide great insights and it’s sometimes easier to share thoughts about something they drew rather than talking about how they feel.
Suggestions for organizing groups:
- Start by generalizing, then become specific. Ask “What makes students angry?” at first, and as trust grows, ask, “What is something that makes you angry?”
- Follow with generating solutions: “Now how about a quick sketch on what someone can do that might help.” Again, make it personal in later weeks: “. . . what you could do that might help.”
- Use their pictures as a jumping-off place for the group time by encouraging students to share what they’re learning and what ideas they’re having.
- Close the group with kudos for their efforts (“Great work today!”) and ask them to set a goal to try a new coping skill before the next group gathering (“What did you hear today that might be something you could try?”). You could have each student identify that and make that the group check-in the following week: “Let’s hear from you all – were you able to try a new skill this past week? Was it helpful?”