Find Your Fearlessness
By Geoff Heckman | March 2025
I’m the last one who should tell you not to be afraid. I’m afraid of a lot of things. However, when I’m facing something I must do that I find scary, I don’t run away. I walk, sometimes run, toward it. A sign in my office shares a mindset that being fearless isn’t eliminating fear but about acknowledging it: “Being fearless doesn’t mean an absence of fear; it means you press on in spite of it.”
I’ve found many of us approach advocacy for our school counseling programs with fear. We know we’re tasked with inappropriate duties, or we’re allowing our programs to be led away from leadership, advocacy, collaboration and systemic change. Why? Often because we’re terrified of saying anything to those who oversee us – and even partner with us – because of what we imagine will happen next.
I’ll never forget their response. They said: You’re right. Administrators aren’t trained on the role of the school counselor. And we probably don’t take the time to listen to you, because you come to us when you are available. During the school day I’ve got countless discipline referrals on my desk, teachers standing at my door and parents calling me. No, I don’t have time to listen to you right then. The tasks that you are doing that you feel are inappropriate, who’s going to do them? If you come to me and say you can’t or shouldn’t do this, then what?
They suggested three things:
Second, I left the first meeting and didn’t approach him for the next few months with requests or business about the next school year, including other inappropriate tasks and barriers. Instead, my team took him to lunch one day during the summer. At the table we share a presentation on a laptop showing the work we’d done that year, our plans for program improvement, intended outcomes for students and barriers to implementing all we wanted to do.
With less going on in his world and time to think about how our goals intersected, this led to more support for our program – it opened the door for more steps. As we continued to repeat the cycle for the next few years, he could see the progress our program was making. This opened more doors and created more trust. This place of trust and respect only came when we stepped into the fear of advocating.
My guess is you’re not the only one who’s scared. Your administrator wasn’t trained to be a school counselor, just as you likely did not receive training on administration. They really may not know who else is going to take over those inappropriate tasks. Or your ethical standards. Or how to find more time, more money, more staff.
Many in leadership roles will mask fear with power. If we go into a conversation with an ultimatum, it’s unlikely to end in our favor. Sometimes we need to admit that we’re afraid. When talking to an administrator or school partner, we might need to say, “I’m scared to have this conversation because I don’t know how it’s going to turn out.” We need to face our fear of vulnerability. Yes, at times it may not turn out well. You might choose to seek different employment or wait for a change in administration to start advocacy.
However, you’ll never know if positive change can happen if you keep waiting to step into the fear and be fearless.
Geoff Heckman is a school counselor at Platte County High School, a RAMP school in Platte City, Mo., and a former chair of ASCA’s Board of Directors.
I’ve found many of us approach advocacy for our school counseling programs with fear. We know we’re tasked with inappropriate duties, or we’re allowing our programs to be led away from leadership, advocacy, collaboration and systemic change. Why? Often because we’re terrified of saying anything to those who oversee us – and even partner with us – because of what we imagine will happen next.
Build a Partnership
So how do we step into the fear and address the things we can change? A few years ago, I attended a conversation the Missouri School Counselor Association held with leaders from the state’s administrator associations. As we visited with them about a school counseling program and the things that took away from it, a large part pertaining to serving as 504 coordinators, they listened intently to our concerns. We explained that often administrators didn’t know the school counselor’s role, and didn’t take the time to listen to school counselors, which often led to school counselors being overwhelmed with inappropriate tasks.I’ll never forget their response. They said: You’re right. Administrators aren’t trained on the role of the school counselor. And we probably don’t take the time to listen to you, because you come to us when you are available. During the school day I’ve got countless discipline referrals on my desk, teachers standing at my door and parents calling me. No, I don’t have time to listen to you right then. The tasks that you are doing that you feel are inappropriate, who’s going to do them? If you come to me and say you can’t or shouldn’t do this, then what?
They suggested three things:
- Talk to us when school isn’t in session. Perhaps schedule a time over the summer.
- Bring suggestions. Even if it isn’t the answer, it’s better than putting it back in my lap and walking away.
- Let’s be a team. When there isn’t one person to do that thing that isn’t anyone’s role, let’s break it up. All of us doing one small piece is better than one person doing the whole thing.
Second, I left the first meeting and didn’t approach him for the next few months with requests or business about the next school year, including other inappropriate tasks and barriers. Instead, my team took him to lunch one day during the summer. At the table we share a presentation on a laptop showing the work we’d done that year, our plans for program improvement, intended outcomes for students and barriers to implementing all we wanted to do.
With less going on in his world and time to think about how our goals intersected, this led to more support for our program – it opened the door for more steps. As we continued to repeat the cycle for the next few years, he could see the progress our program was making. This opened more doors and created more trust. This place of trust and respect only came when we stepped into the fear of advocating.
Work at Positive Change
What do you fear? You’ll lose your job if you ask to work as a team with appropriate school counseling roles? Inherited tasks will never be given to another? I believe our fears stems from the feeling of “what if?” But I’m not going to let fear hold me back. How about you? Are you ready to find your fearlessness? Are you ready to face the “what if”?My guess is you’re not the only one who’s scared. Your administrator wasn’t trained to be a school counselor, just as you likely did not receive training on administration. They really may not know who else is going to take over those inappropriate tasks. Or your ethical standards. Or how to find more time, more money, more staff.
Many in leadership roles will mask fear with power. If we go into a conversation with an ultimatum, it’s unlikely to end in our favor. Sometimes we need to admit that we’re afraid. When talking to an administrator or school partner, we might need to say, “I’m scared to have this conversation because I don’t know how it’s going to turn out.” We need to face our fear of vulnerability. Yes, at times it may not turn out well. You might choose to seek different employment or wait for a change in administration to start advocacy.
However, you’ll never know if positive change can happen if you keep waiting to step into the fear and be fearless.
Geoff Heckman is a school counselor at Platte County High School, a RAMP school in Platte City, Mo., and a former chair of ASCA’s Board of Directors.