Be the One

My entire life changed many years ago when my twin boys were diagnosed with ADHD and high-functioning autism. Honestly, it changed our whole family. Things were confusing – they started school and something just wasn’t right. It took time to get them assessed and then the journey into public school and special education services began. I was lucky because two incredible special education teachers held my hand, dried my tears and explained how everything would work. They were the ones who provided life-altering support for us. One of them even nudged me to go back to school to get my master’s in counseling.

They were the ones who made a difference and helped my children beyond measure. I am hoping I can convey to you what I experienced as a parent and learned later as a school counselor to help you be the one who steps in to guide and care for the special needs students and their families.

First, be the one that understands all points of view. The staff at a school are tasked with providing the best, least restrictive environment for the student, while struggling with limited resources to provide what is needed. Counseling services should not be part of the Individual Education Plan (IEP), but you can be the one who brings creative ideas to the table, just listens when the staff is exhausted and can offer valuable insight about the student.

Be the one for the student. Get to know them. Build a relationship when they are having a good day, so when they have a meltdown or are upset, they already know and trust you. Know what their diagnosis is and how they behave. Help general education students understand how to interact and accept their different view of the world. Model patience and kindness so others will follow your lead. Encourage friendships however you can, because being a student with special needs is often a lonely place to be. Be the one that gets them involved in activities and advocates for inclusivity. Be the one who embraces and accepts them for exactly who they are.

Be the one who understands the parent/guardian’s viewpoint. Know that having a special needs child can be taxing. Navigating insurance coverage hassles, finding the right medication, financial strains, therapy appointments, OT, PT and a vast number of other needs are constant and draining parts of their lives. Be the voice of reason when the parent’s anxiety and worry are insurmountable for them. Reassure them that their student is going to be okay; they will learn to make friends, behave appropriately in social situations, pass their classes and be successful in their own way. Compliment the parent/guardian about the great job they are doing, especially on days when things seem to fall apart. Remember that families with special needs children often experience more divorces and higher family stress than other families.

Be the one for the siblings, especially if they attend the same school. Do not overlook the stress and apprehension that a sibling has at school when their family member is in special education. While they love them deeply and would defend them at all costs, they also live in fear that they will have to do just that if they see their sibling being mistreated. They hear others make fun of the special education class and are in turmoil over whether to speak up or not. They are sometimes sought out by school staff to help when their sibling is having a bad day. Be the one that makes sure this does not happen too often, because they should not be a caretaker while at school.

I know your school counselor plate is often extremely full, and I hope this helps you in some small way understand how to support and help your special education staff, students and families.

Be the one . . . who makes a difference!


My boys celebrate their college graduation with their elementary school special education teacher, Linda Elliott.

Vicki Price is a NMSCA board member and senior director of counseling for Albuquerque Public Schools.