President's Letter: The Power of Our Language

Watch your language! This month, ASCA asked school counselor leaders to share ways school counselors can influence or contribute to school culture. With this as the focus, I’d like to highlight the power of language.

We work in spaces that feel like a lot. Post-pandemic (or nearly post-pandemic), we have seen a change in our communities. Our younger students are demonstrating greater emotional dysregulation, decreased social skills and academic gaps. Our middle and high school students are experiencing great stress and worry, aggression and increased difficulty navigating interpersonal relationships. Changes can be seen in the adults, too. Teachers and staff are feeling tired, overwhelmed and even ill-equipped to serve the students in their classrooms. Administrators are working to manage it all. Our out-of-school lives are also impacted, including illness – RSV, the flu and the common cold have made a fierce comeback – inflation and cost of living increases and other social needs. Even though school has returned to pre-pandemic life in many ways, we continue to live in extraordinary times.

As I reviewed the last paragraph, my breath became shallower, my shoulders tightened and I felt a bit more stressed. How about you?

In this moment, though, we can be aware of our language. People hear us. They listen to our words. They watch our actions. What are they learning and hearing from you?

On your honor, I want you to think about the words you use to describe the people, situations or environment you serve. Do you use any of the words or phrases below:

• “This is a disaster!”
• “I am sooooo BUSY!”
• “_____ NEVER…”
• “This year is a dumpster fire.”

If you are nodding your head right now, you aren’t alone. I have used them, too. The reality is, it is easy to use these kinds of phrases when we are feeling worn down, overwhelmed or stuck.

The difficulty in using some of these phrases to describe people, situations and environments is that it keeps us feeling worn down, overwhelmed or stuck. Worse, though, it can be contagious, creating an entire school community of individuals who are more worn down, more overwhelmed and more stuck than before.

Here’s the part we can change: We can adjust our language to convey a sense of hope. This isn’t to discount the challenges or needs that exist. Consider the first phrase, “This is a disaster!” When I read this, I begin to believe that the challenge is so big that it insurmountable, not figure-out-able, in factm crushing. What if instead we said, “This feels like a complex/big/painful challenge. Can we brainstorm next steps together?” Read that one again. How does it feel? How might it be experienced by a student, teacher, caregiver or administrator? The latter conveys the ability to overcome and a desire to be part of the solution.

You are an important part of creating and maintaining your school’s culture. I hope you will consider your language and make slight adjustments to impact your community more positively!

Contact Addy Wissel, Ph.D., WSCA president, at addywisselwsca@gmail.com.